it is just like i have three personality...
it sounds stupid, i know... Everyone wouldn't believe me... when i am at school, my friends already know.. at home, i am a childish girl who is annoying and funny as my family put it that way... but my third personality.. no one knows what it like... when i have even for a second to think freely, inside me will clicked, my smile would fade away, u would sometimes see me staring out the sky or view and i am not smiling, i just don't even know myself.. when i am alone or even if i can think freely for a second... i would be unhappy.. i always find things to keep me occupied, but it always wouldn't work.. I would be very quiet when i am like this.. when i am very quiet, most of my friends would always ask this question, Why are u so quiet? i would always answer them, dunno and try to smile to them... still... i told one of my friend about this, they would say about God is giving u some 挑战.. i would always want to blur out, what? my past is bitter, always use as a tool by my so-called friends.. but when i came to kuantan, i have tons of friends... but still they keep saying god is giving some you know what i mean, i would become furious in my mind, dont keep saying god... sometimes some problems even god cant even know, i would think how would he know how i feel? i am myself, i feel what i feel... nobody can share my feelings.. cause if i can share, i do already share.... still..... why? something happened when October... after that day something clicked... and till this day, that feeling is still bugging me..... when i have time to think for myself, i don't know why, i would become unhappy... still.... ughh never mind..
|
